This is it - full 31 day straight blogging challenge is done today - I am now going back to my regularly scheduled as needed blogging schedule. This was hard af.
So it is Halloween, the last day of my 31 day Breast Cancer Awareness Month blogging challenge. I shared something every day this month whereas usually I just blog as the feeling moves me. I have also been more active on Insta and Twitter this month. It has been a lot of sharing.
There are monsters and goblins and things to be afraid of every day when you have cancer. There is an insurmountable mountain sometimes in front of you that just flashes "I have cancer!" over and over in neon lights.
I just to cross that HAVE into HAD and instead focus on the positive - the way I survived - shit thrived during chemotherapy. I choose to think about how before that I kicked fucking ass on my mastectomy. I choose to think how I did a pet scan and it was CLEAR. How I worked full time during my chemo and still was "here" for my kids. How I rocked my new hair once it started to grow in. How I got fit and dropped my weight down to the "magic" number of 147.
I will think instead about my family and friends and who stayed by my side and not even spend a minute thinking about who was not there or who was only there for part of it and not all. Cancer is a thing that can ruin your life - easily. Instead, I will chose to look past the monsters, smile at the goblins and fucking laugh at the ghosts because I am here and here I will be for as long as I can. I will pray to be cured but for the time between, I set a goal and I did it - I wrote and bared my soul and my chest literally and figuratively. I will not give in to the fear even though it can be hard sometimes. I will not get overwhelmed with all of the things I need to do at home. I will continue to try to share the tasks so that I can exercise self care and to just keep my life in the order I need it to be - not what others expect of me.
This is what I do in the time between. Now back to my regularly scheduled ad hoc postings :).
Happy halloween to all!
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