It is true I am more buoyant even with one boob. I spend a lot of time trying to re-condition my brain and my I guess reptilian ways. I used to be the person who would hold a grudge, replay the day and who said what when and what I should have said would keep me up at night.
Now, I am actively trying each and every damn day to just continue to rise above. To not fall for the pettiness, the silliness, the stupidity when I can just enjoy my life every damn day - NO MATTER WHAT.
This is a big thing, this "no matter what". It means when another mom says something I consider 'unkind' to my kid, I have to just let it go. It means when someone is not as nice to me as I think I am to them, I have to just let it go. It means that when family members are acting a fool (collectively), I have to just let it go.
It is harder to do than I am making it sound. It can hurt when someone you think is in your "crew" shows that they are not. It can be hard when a relationship dynamic changes from being girlfriends to being just like "hey" and man when I was younger these are the things that made me crazy.
I know now that not everyone has to like me. I know now that I don't have to like everyone. I also know that I am not here for big vendettas and clearing the air because I want to live above the air. I am in my space, my world where last year the ability to do what I did this weekend (and every weekend since chemotherapy ended just over 7 months ago) seemed like a miracle, a dream, something I would never be able to do again. But yet, I am doing it.
I am kicking ass and taking names in terms of my life, my health and how I want my world to be. I am job hunting, I am focused on being the good for those who are good for me. I am focused on my kids and family but I am totally now down to taking care of ME first and getting away, doing things with the girls, my girls.
As I posted on Instagram (see below), I lived through what remains in most people's bad dreams. I am a monster high doll with scars and things where my breast used to be. I am here to live and enjoy, to work and do what I can with the time I have left as we ALL have only so much time left because no one has lived forever in this world. I am prayful and fun, focused and relaxed. I am me, I am proud and I am the 1 in 8.
This is what I do in the time between...
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